Rejections are so hard. Then I got an agent, got published, and thought those days were over. Nope, still get lots of rejections! Publishing triggers those childhood wounds over and over again, but it does get easier with time. Remember that getting a rejection means you’ve reached the next stage in the writing process (congrats!) and you were brave enough to put your work out there.
I am sorry about the rejections Mary. I love your writing style, and believe you have what it takes.
In some ways, your style reminds me of the late great Mary Oliver....her connection to nature, her witnessing all the facets of nature. I feel your sense of wonder by the way you write and encourage you to keep trying.
If you read this to your husband, and his reply was, “Do you want to be heard, helped, or hugged?” What would be your honest reply? I’m hoping you’re in a foxhole with a person with big ears, long arms, and a slow mouth.
I think it’s very human to offer words when really what we need more is love, listening and affection. That’s why dogs are so good, and we can learn so much from animals.
I loved reading this, Mary, thank you 😊 Hen Island sounds brilliant and you describe it so beautifully and vividly I have a real sense of it. I'd be a Hen Island friend, for sure! I have a beloved, rugged estuary where I grew up that no one else understood or saw the value in, so I made it the setting for my novel and now it lives in the wider imagination of readers and that makes me really happy 😊
Rejection of any kind always feels terrible. I look forward to the day when your fantastic book has a home, but until then, take pride in the fact that you’ve produced something great. That alone is a huge accomplishment.
Hen Island sounds great, but sadly not now when I need a walker wherever I go. Rejection IS a challenge and a half. Why? On the professional level it's tough because one might depend on being published. On an inner, personal level it can hurt, because it can feel like "I am rejected, not only my work". This I see as a valuable lesson in affirming my self-worth. I believe we will ALWAYS be at risk as long as we look outside of ourselves for validation. It's our job, not someone else's, to provide it. The advantage of being "self-validated" is that YOU have always access to you, which I think is preferable to relying on outside sources. Outside validation IS wonderful but better never depend on it. To reach that point can take a (long) lifetime. It did for me. And here you will have good use for both persistence and patience. Which includes patience with yourself and your process. Maria
Loved this. My day job is grant writing, so I have grown very comfortable with rejections. 😂 However, I think it will be different when it’s my own stories.
I hope I’m a Hen Island friend! I would dig in the mud for clams but would not be into eating them! 😬
All the feelings for all the rejections, literary and otherwise, are wrapped up in this piece, Mary, as is recognizing that we are who we are in part because of them. I so related to this line: "For me, it speaks to the insecure adolescent within, the one who really wanted to dance but no one asked. Someone not loving my work feels like someone not loving me." I marvel at people who seem to (operative phrase) sail through this kind of disappointment without batting an eye.
Wishing you well in your search. I get your writing, and not that you're looking for a distant ally, but I'd enjoy clamming with you for sure.
Thanks Mary, this reminded me of Joan Jett who did not just paper over her walls with record executives' rejection letters, but rubbed their noses in those rejections with the music video for "Bad Reputation."
The publishing world has changed so much it’s unrecognizable. This is more than your old-fashioned rejection. And least that’s what I believe. I don’t have answers.
Rejections are so hard. Then I got an agent, got published, and thought those days were over. Nope, still get lots of rejections! Publishing triggers those childhood wounds over and over again, but it does get easier with time. Remember that getting a rejection means you’ve reached the next stage in the writing process (congrats!) and you were brave enough to put your work out there.
♥️
I am sorry about the rejections Mary. I love your writing style, and believe you have what it takes.
In some ways, your style reminds me of the late great Mary Oliver....her connection to nature, her witnessing all the facets of nature. I feel your sense of wonder by the way you write and encourage you to keep trying.
Wow! What a lovely compliment! I love Mary Oliver and her writing so very much. Thank you Christine!
If you read this to your husband, and his reply was, “Do you want to be heard, helped, or hugged?” What would be your honest reply? I’m hoping you’re in a foxhole with a person with big ears, long arms, and a slow mouth.
I think it’s very human to offer words when really what we need more is love, listening and affection. That’s why dogs are so good, and we can learn so much from animals.
I loved reading this, Mary, thank you 😊 Hen Island sounds brilliant and you describe it so beautifully and vividly I have a real sense of it. I'd be a Hen Island friend, for sure! I have a beloved, rugged estuary where I grew up that no one else understood or saw the value in, so I made it the setting for my novel and now it lives in the wider imagination of readers and that makes me really happy 😊
I love that. What is the name of this beautiful book Carys?
It's Truth Like Water - thanks for asking, Mary 🤗
Congrats! It’s going in my good reads list!
Rejection of any kind always feels terrible. I look forward to the day when your fantastic book has a home, but until then, take pride in the fact that you’ve produced something great. That alone is a huge accomplishment.
♥️
Hen Island sounds great, but sadly not now when I need a walker wherever I go. Rejection IS a challenge and a half. Why? On the professional level it's tough because one might depend on being published. On an inner, personal level it can hurt, because it can feel like "I am rejected, not only my work". This I see as a valuable lesson in affirming my self-worth. I believe we will ALWAYS be at risk as long as we look outside of ourselves for validation. It's our job, not someone else's, to provide it. The advantage of being "self-validated" is that YOU have always access to you, which I think is preferable to relying on outside sources. Outside validation IS wonderful but better never depend on it. To reach that point can take a (long) lifetime. It did for me. And here you will have good use for both persistence and patience. Which includes patience with yourself and your process. Maria
Definitely better not to depend on it. Wise!
Loved this. My day job is grant writing, so I have grown very comfortable with rejections. 😂 However, I think it will be different when it’s my own stories.
I hope I’m a Hen Island friend! I would dig in the mud for clams but would not be into eating them! 😬
🤣
All the feelings for all the rejections, literary and otherwise, are wrapped up in this piece, Mary, as is recognizing that we are who we are in part because of them. I so related to this line: "For me, it speaks to the insecure adolescent within, the one who really wanted to dance but no one asked. Someone not loving my work feels like someone not loving me." I marvel at people who seem to (operative phrase) sail through this kind of disappointment without batting an eye.
Wishing you well in your search. I get your writing, and not that you're looking for a distant ally, but I'd enjoy clamming with you for sure.
Thanks Mary, this reminded me of Joan Jett who did not just paper over her walls with record executives' rejection letters, but rubbed their noses in those rejections with the music video for "Bad Reputation."
The publishing world has changed so much it’s unrecognizable. This is more than your old-fashioned rejection. And least that’s what I believe. I don’t have answers.
Thanks Janisse! I appreciate your readership, experience and support.