Love Out Loud

Just imagine what might happen

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Without further ado, today’s pocket.

This week I listened to a conversation on the podcast We Can Do Hard Things, where Abbie Wambach and Glennon Doyle shared that years ago when they were about to make their love public, they were a mess, full of questions and worries about what would happen. Martha Beck, a woman with three Harvard degrees in social science and their guest on this week’s podcast was the one who told them what they needed to hear to sooth their rising fears.  “All you have to do is love each other out loud,” she said.

I was walking Cato at the time, and those words stopped me in my tracks. What would happen if people felt free to love each other and themselves out loud? Perhaps you have seen the you tube clip where Jessica, a blond curly haired toddler, climbs up on the bathroom counter and lists the things she likes about her life… “I like my dad, I like my cousins… I like my hair…I like my haircuts.” Jessica moves her arms with gusto to emphasize each thing she loves. Her song ends when she says, “I can do anything good,” and then she hops off the counter, climbs down onto the tub and walks past her portable potty.

That’s the power of love, it makes us feel like we can do anything.

This week, I’m going to love out loud. Imagine that like Jessica, I’m climbing up on the bathroom counter and moving my arms fiercely to embody each exclamation of love.

I love my Dan. Many months ago, Dan told me to reserve September 30^th for a surprise anniversary gift. I love surprises. Dan had made reservations at The Gilded Unicorn, one of our favorite restaurants, and then we walked to the Fox theater. I had a hunch that he had purchased concert tickets, but my jaw dropped when I saw who was headlining at the Fox that night. The Indigo Girls. I love The Indigo Girls. I have listened to Emily and Amy’s music since I was 15, and I heard “Closer to Fine” for the first time. Every time I listen to them sing or talk, I feel closer to fine. At the concert, they jammed out, seriously so many guitars played only by them, all before a backdrop of banned books. Many of the books behind them were books I have taught or shared with students over my years of teaching. Sitting there with my husband, listening to them sing against a backdrop of banned books, I was so close to fine.

I love my students. Last year I was a full-time instructional coach which meant most of my work was with teachers. I like this part of my job very much, just not quite as much as I like teaching teenagers. I love teaching teenagers. I’m teaching my Native American Literature class again this year every day during first period, and it is my favorite part of the day. This week, I asked my students to reenact a duck and coyote story, and seeing them stand before their peers acting out the parts of duck, raven and coyote, exclaiming how lovely and “sexy” their feathers were, changing their voice to be in full character, taking risks to create something meaningful, made me so proud. One group even made illustrated finger puppets out of Post-Its and pencils. Some of my students are non-binary, and some are transgender, and seeing them fully supported by their heterosexual male peers, as artists and as people, gives me so much hope for the future. Their generation is awesome.

I took this photo with a camera that I LOVE

I love my garden. The sunflowers are mostly spent, many of the bright yellow flowers are brown husks. Some stalks are tipping over, some blooms are lopsided, and some hang upside down, but the seeds are plentiful, which is why I have guests in my garden this week. I love my garden guests. The goldfinches feast as a family eating their fill of the black oil seeds, storing fat to prepare for the journey ahead. All day long, I can hear them singing. Songbirds know better than most how to love out loud. On Thursday afternoon, I took my binoculars out and was even able to capture a few pictures of my furry friends. Goldfinches are late breeders, so I was delighted when I came across a particularly plump and scruffy bird. His parents got a little concerned with my presence and started swooping by in warning, and I got the message and let them be, but it was a delightful way to spend an afternoon. I love looking at birds.

I love my Seabass. My baby bird started high school this fall. On Tuesday, I was in charge of carting him and his friends to their Spaghetti cross country dinner, which is oddly called a feed, but probably somewhat accurate for the amount of food required for fifty or so teenage boys. I had a hair appointment scheduled right before the feed, which meant I was late picking the boys up, as I knew I would be, but my stylist didn’t have any other openings till January, and like little curly haired Jessica, I love my hair and my haircuts, so I wasn’t about to sacrifice my appointment. When I picked Seabass up, he said, “You have to move those things.” He was embarrassed that there was so much stuff on the backseat where his friends needed to sit. I was running around so much I didn’t realize the stuff was there. I asked the boys about practice and apologized for being late, explaining about my hair cut, to which Seabass said, in front of his friends, “Your hair looks really good.”

I love my Anna. This baby bird will leave the nest this year, which is another reason I’m determined to love out loud. Anna was dropped off Sunday after a sleepover with friends. I was in the front garden planting pansies and a few perennials I had picked up for half price. I love fall planting. She came over to where I stood with my shovel and garden apron, and said, “Can I hug you?” And for a moment, my world was just right.

Imagine if all we had to do was love each other out loud.

Thanks for being here. I would love to continue this conversation in the comments. What resonates with you? What are you loving these days… people, pets, coffee… I want to hear all about it.