The Essential Ingredients

for everything

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Without further ado, today’s pocket.

It’s the end of August, which for me means that it’s prime harvest time in my garden and it’s also the return to my 9-5, or rather my 7-4. Things are coming together, and things are falling apart.

I forge a path between sunflower stems and blackberry branches to harvest what is waiting in my garden. In August, red tomatoes fit perfectly in my palm. I gather a few more in my basket adding a few handfuls of basil, which is thriving for the first time ever because of the changes I made early in the season. The parsley which took forever to establish itself is finally making itself known, so I throw that in too. Earlier this season, I harvested garlic, which is curing in my basement, so my August garden provides the simple ingredients I need to make a dish I like to call summer spaghetti.

When I first started growing tomatoes, I tried to grow large San Marzano plum tomatoes, but they required so much feeding, and they weren’t good for slicing, and I needed the entire harvest to make sauce, so I changed my way of thinking and instead of using the ingredients to make something, I decided to make something from the ingredients I had. I sliced and roasted the tomatoes with a little olive oil and salt and a few smashed garlic cloves for about twenty minutes or so, and then when the pasta was ready, I tossed the strands in a large bowl along with my roasted tomato goodness, a little more extra virgin olive oil and my fresh herbs. Sometimes I play around with lemon or white wine, but it’s really that simple.

As I return to school this year, we’re having lots of conversations about keeping it simple. With a youth mental health crisis, and nearly half of students experiencing anxiety or depression…with literacy at all time low rates, it might not feel like the time to go simple, but I think it’s what is needed. Instead of trying to force our situation into something it’s not, we have to work from where we are. This week, I asked some of our staff what they thought students needed to know when they graduated, and then I asked them to narrow their list down to five things, the essential ingredients. I’m curious about what will happen if we’re all working together on these five things, if it might be more impactful than trying to accomplish everything. I hope so. I’ll keep you posted on how it goes. I imagine it will probably be a lot harder than growing basil.

This lesson, though, to look at the basic ingredients is supported by some of our greatest thinkers. Viktor Frankl in Man’s Search for Meaning listed four. Identify a purpose in your life. Complete tasks. Care for others. Face suffering with dignity. Brené Brown in The Gifts of Imperfection suggests sitting down with your partner and listing the essential ingredients for your family. I did this with Dan and while the process was bumpy for reasons I won’t go into, I still have our lists, because they remind me that at our core, we want the same things, and if we keep those things in our heart, in our line of vision, won’t it make things just a bit better for both of us, for our family? In Living Resistance, by Kaitlin B. Curtice, An Indigenous Vision for Seeking Wholeness Every Day, which I’m reading now and plan to have my students read this year, Kaitlin tells me to write down five questions that I’m holding inside myself right now. One of her past questions was “Why am I so scared all the time?” Here are two of mine. “How can I be at peace regardless of outside circumstances?” and “How can I speak my needs without exploding?” Kaitlin says that “as adults, many of us on the path of healing are realizing that we must reclaim our curiosity toward ourselves and the land around us; we must start asking questions we didn’t ask before. As we do so, things begin shifting, and naturally, resistance follows. For many of us, this is also where we begin the journey of deconstruction. This questioning and deconstruction can be difficult and messy, but it is a start, and it is holy work, even if in the end we no longer believe what we believed before.”

Five simple questions can lead to deconstruction of thought and a shift in belief system.

This idea of simple ingredients works for me. Long lists are overwhelming, and often when I make them, I forget them. This week, I finished my second round of revisions on my memoir. It’s now time to ask a few special folks for some feedback and to look for an agent. It occurred to me that I could use my new learning as I go about these tasks. I could give my reviewers a focus when reading my book. What are the ingredients I want my book to have? I made myself choose only five. Here’s my list.

I want my book to be

beautiful

funny

delightful

rich and layered (in terms of character and plot)

thought provoking

I’m starting to drum up a short list of what I’m looking for in an agent too. I have no idea where to begin on this. I wish I was kidding when I tell you that I told Siri to find me an agent. Siri also kept it simple and found me five agents immediately. Unfortunately, they were real estate agents. However, saying what I want in this new situation makes me feel a little less helpless. It reminds me that I have created something that someone else should want, and I’m looking for the right person to help me put it in the world. I want someone who is smart, compassionate, who believes in my book, who has a sense of humor and who will treat me and my characters with kindness and respect even though I’m so green in this world of publishing. Basically, I want an editor who will treat me like my mechanic when I ask him to remind me how I check the oil. He is kind every time.

I may revise my list over time, but it’s a start. The best thing about these lists is that they can be revised, but I’m taking this skill on the road this year. I’m going to make short lists for my garden, for my house, for my classroom, not endless tasks of chores that will make me feel bad or accomplished depending on how much I get done, but rather a place to put my heart on the page. What do I want to create? What do I want to cultivate? Where is that happening, and what can I do to get there if it’s not happening?

Thank you so much for reading and being here. I would love to continue this conversation in the comments. What resonates with you today? Tell us about your essential ingredients for a meal, for your job, for your life.

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