Thank you for being here Darya and sharing your story. I can’t even imagine how hard that must be. I’m so glad you are here. It is a gift to us. I wish you peace and joy and send you love.
LOVED this line: "I once went to a Dar Williams concert where she talked about how she wished she could wear armor through life’s transitions. I have never felt so seen." LOL TY : ) 60 years ago, 1963, the big transition was entering Mrs. Dillingham's third grade. There's a poem for everything!
The Night Before the First Day
There was a metal zipper on a filmy white plastic pouch,
three holes punched on one side, matched to fit over the three rings inside the binder –
a special place where you’d stow pencils – newly sharpened, spotless erasers, and
a box of eight unused Crayola crayons, the flap showing signs of fray from opening to expose the perfectly shaped colored tips (just to admire), and reclosing.
And a wood ruler with holes precisely spaced, slipped over the rings as well.
Binders in those days had fabric-like covers adhered to durable cardboard, often cornflower blue.
On the inside front cover, you’d place your name, printed neatly or penned in your best cursive,
and on the lines below, the grade you were about to enter, and your teacher’s name.
The metal rings required a smidge of heft to pull apart, and snapped back like shark jaws!
No kindness shown a finger caught in the clutches.
And there you’d place a half-inch ream of white paper with preprinted blue lines to be separated into subjects by pastel-colored dividers with tabs.
All this I organized and arranged and carried around my bedroom in the crook of my arm as if practicing how to enter third grade properly
Thank you so much for sharing your poem here. There is indeed a poem for everything. I love the image of you carrying your binder under the crook of your arm. My 13 year old carries a binder and the image always makes me smile. I also love the idea of practice. I remember practicing for school. I wonder why third grade was such a big transition for you, why it sticks out after all these years. So glad you joined us!
Recently my sweet baby started at full time care and school started and I just really resonate with the transitions. It's hard to move back into the school season. It's hard to shift between being a mom and working. I've also found that gardening helps. Every evening baby lays on a blanket and talks to the trees while I water things, pick weeds, and center myself. It's been a beautiful little ritual. I'll need to find a new one soon but I'm savoring this one for now.
I love the idea of transition tools. I’ll use that as a journaling prompt this week. Also, I’m glad it’s not just me who forgets how to do their job. 🙂
Cool. I’m glad you like it, and also glad I’m not alone. Mondays feel like that too sometimes. Sometimes I try to remind Friday Mary to write to Monday Mary but Friday Mary is mostly thinking about happy hour or a nap or both.
Apropos of transitions, seasonal or otherwise, walking is probably my go-to practice. I learned of solvitur amblando as a teen in the high school on account of somewhat unintentional act of resistance. I had the great misfortune to have a Catholic religion teacher (Quebec public school in the 70s was denominational) who was wickedly doctrinaire. I was unluckier still to have had him as both a grade 9 and 10 teacher. He fancied that us teens could learn nothing better that Thomas Aquinas's five proofs of God. It was torture. And this teacher was as cheerless and dour as they come. I had already been an altar boy for several years in a Montreal cathedral so i knew my saints and sinners and whatnot pretty well. But when the assignment was to write a paragraph about Thomas Aquinas i researched Saint Augustine instead. I honestly can't recall this many years on if it was an honest mistake. But learning that Augustine was patron saint of brewers and printers made me rather like him. And in whatever encyclopedia reference i found it mentioned solvitur ambulando which gave me the idea of suggesting we do our class by walking around the school. Well the suggestion didn't go far. If anything that teacher become more dour still. Alas.... I forgot about that phrase for many years though i spent my late teens and twenties doing a helluva lotta walking - across Canada, up mountains, along rivers, to other countries, through war zones... It was only when a friend walked the Camino Santiago in the mid-90s that i came again across that notion of solvitur ambulando. And I simultaneously saw what I had been doing for many years and re-embraced the notion and practice. And then I raised a pint to Augustine. And kept right on walking (after downing the pint, of course).
I am so glad that I now know that Saints Augustine is the patron saint of brewers and printers. My dad is a retired printer. Welcome to this space, so happy to have a another storyteller here.
Hi Mary! Thank you for your warm welcome! It was a lovely surprise to see my name when I opened your newsletter this morning.
I started publishing my writing on Substack earlier this year, but I mainly used it as a newsletter tool and a better platform to connect with my readers who got tired of the pace and distractions of social media. I only recently started to browse the Substacks of other writers because I wanted to find something calm to read. I subscribed to multiple nature writers and then found your page.
I think reading your posts is one of the transition tools that I try to integrate into my life to better cope with stress and trauma. My life changed drastically last year when Russians invaded Ukraine, the native country of my husband. It was the biggest and most unexpected change that I don’t wish for anyone to experience. It’s hard to find balance and allow yourself to experience joy while living during wartime, seeing so much pain and injustice, and worrying about your friends and family. I loved the idea of the transition tools you shared in this essay. Thank you for sharing your writing, advice, funny stories, and your heart!
My transition tools include walks, tending plants in my gardens or on my deck, drinking a cup of tea or reading. I love how you write so descriptively about the challenges of daily life and grow those stories into metaphors. 💜
Oh Sherri, I'm so grateful for your readership. I love how you read the comments and respond to what others write. You are such a generous person. I also enjoy all those transitions. I look forward to my two cups of tea a day. And thanks for the re-frame of my writing. I love it!
Transition armor? Please tell me where to buy it- I’ve heard it’s a hot seller!
Seriously though, through this grief journey of mine I’ve surprised myself by learning that I’ve carried my armor with me all along. I’ve discovered my own resilience and strength through this transition to move into life beyond Joe. That includes learning how and what I can access outside myself; and asking for help. It’s always been reading and music for me but that went away for many months as I found myself unable to concentrate on reading with an ease and pleasure that I’d been used to and music was just too triggering. With guidance from a bereavement counselor, I learned about self Reiki and meditation and it’s been a daily morning routine for just over a year now. The other bookend to my day is writing poetry and gratitude journaling. These activities structure my day and help me to stay present. Taking walks with the dog is also important. I’ve always struggled with all sorts of change, but my new knowledge, understanding and acceptance of the concept of impermanence has had such a deep and liberating effect on me.
I love fall too!
Congrats Mary; I’m so happy for you and so proud of you.
Thanks so much! And thanks for sharing this and pointing out that sometimes things that bring us joy cause us pain- sometimes the transitions we relied on are no longer accessible to us or temporarily unavailable so we have to find a new way through. I’m so proud of you for finding your way through and taking up meditation. You inspire me. I hope you keep sharing here and letting others learn from you.
I love that you took a bath before you picked up your daughter from day care. Amazing. So healthy. Also I really want to go swimming now. Do you really plunge yourself in the Spokane river? I’ve always wanted a body of water to plunge myself in every day.
It was a matter of survival. And yep, I went today. At Bowl and Pitcher in my underwear because I wasn’t planning to go and then got there and thought, why not? I recommend water shows as the rocks are slippery as heck. I of course don’t own water shows and if I did would not wear them so I kind of crawl into the freezing cold water. I will go in the lake in October- the river dunks probably will end this month.
Congratulations on being featured by Substack! As for the rest of this essay, it spoke about something I feel all the time. I particularly felt it in the fall when I wasn't ready to lose the summer when I was young. But also in the spring when I had grown accustomed to hunkering down for winter. I still experience a form of transition dread on Sunday evenings , a holdover from my working days maybe. I like the idea of transition armor.
We've talked a bit about Tom Lake already but your comments here captured something important..It is simple enough as a story but it is truly about everything. I'm going to take another look .
Thank you! Thanks for reading. Interesting. I am never sad to welcome Spring or Summer but consistently sad to let go of summer and super sad to let go of fall. Some of the passages in the book are exquisite. And also, sometimes books just aren’t speaking to us and that is okay too.
Loved this. Fall is my favorite time and I just have to take a ride in Harriman Park to reset. But I rarely take the time! Also I had your middle school experience, but Monserat Canales did beat the living daylights out of me because I unkowingly stepped on her friend Sandra's sneaker in gym and didn't apologize. I had to have a whole series of x-rays to make sure nothing was broken. Silver lining-I never let it happen again! Love ya!
Also at Haverstraw Middle School? Mine was also gym class related...interesting. I actually have some deeper thoughts on all this that maybe we can chat about sometime. I’m glad you learned to not let anyone mess with you. That is an important lesson.
Thank you for being here Darya and sharing your story. I can’t even imagine how hard that must be. I’m so glad you are here. It is a gift to us. I wish you peace and joy and send you love.
LOVED this line: "I once went to a Dar Williams concert where she talked about how she wished she could wear armor through life’s transitions. I have never felt so seen." LOL TY : ) 60 years ago, 1963, the big transition was entering Mrs. Dillingham's third grade. There's a poem for everything!
The Night Before the First Day
There was a metal zipper on a filmy white plastic pouch,
three holes punched on one side, matched to fit over the three rings inside the binder –
a special place where you’d stow pencils – newly sharpened, spotless erasers, and
a box of eight unused Crayola crayons, the flap showing signs of fray from opening to expose the perfectly shaped colored tips (just to admire), and reclosing.
And a wood ruler with holes precisely spaced, slipped over the rings as well.
Binders in those days had fabric-like covers adhered to durable cardboard, often cornflower blue.
On the inside front cover, you’d place your name, printed neatly or penned in your best cursive,
and on the lines below, the grade you were about to enter, and your teacher’s name.
The metal rings required a smidge of heft to pull apart, and snapped back like shark jaws!
No kindness shown a finger caught in the clutches.
And there you’d place a half-inch ream of white paper with preprinted blue lines to be separated into subjects by pastel-colored dividers with tabs.
All this I organized and arranged and carried around my bedroom in the crook of my arm as if practicing how to enter third grade properly
and prepared
the night before
the first day.
Karen,
Thank you so much for sharing your poem here. There is indeed a poem for everything. I love the image of you carrying your binder under the crook of your arm. My 13 year old carries a binder and the image always makes me smile. I also love the idea of practice. I remember practicing for school. I wonder why third grade was such a big transition for you, why it sticks out after all these years. So glad you joined us!
Recently my sweet baby started at full time care and school started and I just really resonate with the transitions. It's hard to move back into the school season. It's hard to shift between being a mom and working. I've also found that gardening helps. Every evening baby lays on a blanket and talks to the trees while I water things, pick weeds, and center myself. It's been a beautiful little ritual. I'll need to find a new one soon but I'm savoring this one for now.
I love this ritual, and the image it summons up. It is a poem in itself. Good job mom!
I love the idea of transition tools. I’ll use that as a journaling prompt this week. Also, I’m glad it’s not just me who forgets how to do their job. 🙂
Cool. I’m glad you like it, and also glad I’m not alone. Mondays feel like that too sometimes. Sometimes I try to remind Friday Mary to write to Monday Mary but Friday Mary is mostly thinking about happy hour or a nap or both.
Apropos of transitions, seasonal or otherwise, walking is probably my go-to practice. I learned of solvitur amblando as a teen in the high school on account of somewhat unintentional act of resistance. I had the great misfortune to have a Catholic religion teacher (Quebec public school in the 70s was denominational) who was wickedly doctrinaire. I was unluckier still to have had him as both a grade 9 and 10 teacher. He fancied that us teens could learn nothing better that Thomas Aquinas's five proofs of God. It was torture. And this teacher was as cheerless and dour as they come. I had already been an altar boy for several years in a Montreal cathedral so i knew my saints and sinners and whatnot pretty well. But when the assignment was to write a paragraph about Thomas Aquinas i researched Saint Augustine instead. I honestly can't recall this many years on if it was an honest mistake. But learning that Augustine was patron saint of brewers and printers made me rather like him. And in whatever encyclopedia reference i found it mentioned solvitur ambulando which gave me the idea of suggesting we do our class by walking around the school. Well the suggestion didn't go far. If anything that teacher become more dour still. Alas.... I forgot about that phrase for many years though i spent my late teens and twenties doing a helluva lotta walking - across Canada, up mountains, along rivers, to other countries, through war zones... It was only when a friend walked the Camino Santiago in the mid-90s that i came again across that notion of solvitur ambulando. And I simultaneously saw what I had been doing for many years and re-embraced the notion and practice. And then I raised a pint to Augustine. And kept right on walking (after downing the pint, of course).
I am so glad that I now know that Saints Augustine is the patron saint of brewers and printers. My dad is a retired printer. Welcome to this space, so happy to have a another storyteller here.
Hi Mary! Thank you for your warm welcome! It was a lovely surprise to see my name when I opened your newsletter this morning.
I started publishing my writing on Substack earlier this year, but I mainly used it as a newsletter tool and a better platform to connect with my readers who got tired of the pace and distractions of social media. I only recently started to browse the Substacks of other writers because I wanted to find something calm to read. I subscribed to multiple nature writers and then found your page.
I think reading your posts is one of the transition tools that I try to integrate into my life to better cope with stress and trauma. My life changed drastically last year when Russians invaded Ukraine, the native country of my husband. It was the biggest and most unexpected change that I don’t wish for anyone to experience. It’s hard to find balance and allow yourself to experience joy while living during wartime, seeing so much pain and injustice, and worrying about your friends and family. I loved the idea of the transition tools you shared in this essay. Thank you for sharing your writing, advice, funny stories, and your heart!
My transition tools include walks, tending plants in my gardens or on my deck, drinking a cup of tea or reading. I love how you write so descriptively about the challenges of daily life and grow those stories into metaphors. 💜
Oh Sherri, I'm so grateful for your readership. I love how you read the comments and respond to what others write. You are such a generous person. I also enjoy all those transitions. I look forward to my two cups of tea a day. And thanks for the re-frame of my writing. I love it!
Yes haverstraw middle! It really was a traumatic experience. I’ll take that drive this week. We will talk! Love you
Love you too! Can’t wait!
Oh myyy! I'm so happy to be welcomed here.
Hearty felicitations on you being featured on Substack.
Yeahh! Reading is really a great transitioning tool. It has helped me a lotta times to resonate my thinking and creativity.
Thank you! And yay, I’m so glad you saw the welcome. So excited that you have found your way here.
Transition armor? Please tell me where to buy it- I’ve heard it’s a hot seller!
Seriously though, through this grief journey of mine I’ve surprised myself by learning that I’ve carried my armor with me all along. I’ve discovered my own resilience and strength through this transition to move into life beyond Joe. That includes learning how and what I can access outside myself; and asking for help. It’s always been reading and music for me but that went away for many months as I found myself unable to concentrate on reading with an ease and pleasure that I’d been used to and music was just too triggering. With guidance from a bereavement counselor, I learned about self Reiki and meditation and it’s been a daily morning routine for just over a year now. The other bookend to my day is writing poetry and gratitude journaling. These activities structure my day and help me to stay present. Taking walks with the dog is also important. I’ve always struggled with all sorts of change, but my new knowledge, understanding and acceptance of the concept of impermanence has had such a deep and liberating effect on me.
I love fall too!
Congrats Mary; I’m so happy for you and so proud of you.
Thanks so much! And thanks for sharing this and pointing out that sometimes things that bring us joy cause us pain- sometimes the transitions we relied on are no longer accessible to us or temporarily unavailable so we have to find a new way through. I’m so proud of you for finding your way through and taking up meditation. You inspire me. I hope you keep sharing here and letting others learn from you.
Deep thought here today, Mary. Also, huge congrats on being featured! I love that.
Thank you for reading, and thanks so much!
I love that you took a bath before you picked up your daughter from day care. Amazing. So healthy. Also I really want to go swimming now. Do you really plunge yourself in the Spokane river? I’ve always wanted a body of water to plunge myself in every day.
It was a matter of survival. And yep, I went today. At Bowl and Pitcher in my underwear because I wasn’t planning to go and then got there and thought, why not? I recommend water shows as the rocks are slippery as heck. I of course don’t own water shows and if I did would not wear them so I kind of crawl into the freezing cold water. I will go in the lake in October- the river dunks probably will end this month.
Congratulations on being featured by Substack! As for the rest of this essay, it spoke about something I feel all the time. I particularly felt it in the fall when I wasn't ready to lose the summer when I was young. But also in the spring when I had grown accustomed to hunkering down for winter. I still experience a form of transition dread on Sunday evenings , a holdover from my working days maybe. I like the idea of transition armor.
We've talked a bit about Tom Lake already but your comments here captured something important..It is simple enough as a story but it is truly about everything. I'm going to take another look .
Thank you! Thanks for reading. Interesting. I am never sad to welcome Spring or Summer but consistently sad to let go of summer and super sad to let go of fall. Some of the passages in the book are exquisite. And also, sometimes books just aren’t speaking to us and that is okay too.
Loved this. Fall is my favorite time and I just have to take a ride in Harriman Park to reset. But I rarely take the time! Also I had your middle school experience, but Monserat Canales did beat the living daylights out of me because I unkowingly stepped on her friend Sandra's sneaker in gym and didn't apologize. I had to have a whole series of x-rays to make sure nothing was broken. Silver lining-I never let it happen again! Love ya!
Also at Haverstraw Middle School? Mine was also gym class related...interesting. I actually have some deeper thoughts on all this that maybe we can chat about sometime. I’m glad you learned to not let anyone mess with you. That is an important lesson.
And take that drive! I threw out my backpack.
You work so hard. It's very impressive. Thank you for all you do.
I love this list of transitions. And thank you for mentioning Rhizosphere! I'm so glad it offered a bit of balm.
The Rhizosphere consistently inspires my writing practice, so it is I that thank you.
Nah. I love my job. It is an incredibly fortunate gig. That is something I don’t usually forget.