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Tera Ray's avatar

I am also in the process of learning to let go and flow. Much like you, I was a straight A, president of the National Honor Society, tennis playing over-achiever in High School, but as I've gotten older (discovering mindfulness and yoga really helped), I've definitely learned some hard lessons on the importance of setting boundaries and creating a life that is spiritually and emotionally sustainable. I burned out hard in my first public teaching attempt after graduating from college, not completing my contract for mental health reasons, so I am proud to be in my 8th year in my current position with a pretty good work/life balance although I know there's still room to grow. Failure is definitely a powerful teacher.

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Rita Ott Ramstad's avatar

The first year of teaching is so rough! And I never did find much work/life balance, so good for you!

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Mary Hutto Fruchter's avatar

So true! I’m sharing a story about my first year teaching in a few weeks, and it’s wild to return to that space. Are you still teaching Rita?

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Rita Ott Ramstad's avatar

Not really. I've been retiring in stages. I sub (only in one school) once a week or so. Things have changed so much since I began in 1990! Looking forward to reading your piece.

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Mary Hutto Fruchter's avatar

You should be proud. You are such a good teacher and model for other teachers. It is so cool that you share your meditation and yoga practice with others. I also have lots more room to grow. I’m working on practicing the values I really care about rather than getting swayed by other things that are flashier. Do you still play tennis because I would love someone to play with?

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Tera Ray's avatar

It's been a long time since I've played. I'm not even sure if I have a functional racquet! I'll check the basement and let you know. It would be fun to get out on the court again.

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Rita Ott Ramstad's avatar

I did high school the same way you did, and I arrived at college in the same state. I am so proud of my daughter, who in her high school years made high school me look like a slacker. She went to a university strong on hustle culture, but she's stepped off that treadmill and is making a life with deep meaning and far more balance than I ever achieved. We often say that we want our children to do better than we have; I think mine is.

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Mary Hutto Fruchter's avatar

Beautiful Rita!

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Karen S. Bonnell's avatar

Luscious! Reading along (I've done that CPR class back in the day, no bells, no whistles, just pushing and breathing like someone's life depended on it into a floppy dummy; Annie was her name : ) Then, came to the part where you heard Andy Gibbs 1977 hit song showing up in that moment of fate: "Staying Alive" ringing in your ears; your strength pumping with the disco beat - wasn't sure if I was laughing or starting to cry.

What I am certain about, if we ever face that moment, leaning over someone's chest - that song will carry the message of our hearts better than any number!

Yes, as a recovering "hustler" (would President of the Presidents Club in HS ring a bell?) ... I googled Liz Gilbert's poem, "Simple" without success - could you share a link? TYSM for a Sunday morning "church-moment."

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Mary Hutto Fruchter's avatar

Awww. Thanks Karen. I love that Annie had a name. I direct messaged you pics from the poem. Let me know if it worked. 🤗

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Karen S. Bonnell's avatar

Mary, TY for sharing an image of Liz Gilbert's poem ... and now, back at you with my own version of looking back at relinquishing the hustle-life : ) Title: "Time Changes"

Time Changes

The morning I stopped rushing,

I sensed a visitor at the door.

Years of doing, years of adulting,

Years of pushing only to discover

where exhaustion sets in, and more life begins.

I didn’t leave my pocketbook in the dressing room where I found the perfect bathing suit.

I didn’t jump off in front of your house and leave the baby on the bus.

Those things didn’t happen.

I often feared they could

during those years of doing it all.

The morning I stopped rushing,

I surveyed the accomplishments

collecting dust on the shelf –

while an unopened package awaits on the porch.

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Mary Hutto Fruchter's avatar

Thank you so much for sharing your poem here!

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waldo's avatar

"enter now this wild wood and view the haunts of nature"

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Jen Zug's avatar

Loved this one (and I listened to the audio for the first time!).

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Mary Hutto Fruchter's avatar

I’m so glad. How did that go for you?

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Jen Zug's avatar

It was great! Loved hearing your voice and that you were recording it “on the fly” (pun intended). I’ve been thinking about posting audio for my essays as well.

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Mary Hutto Fruchter's avatar

I’m so glad. Thanks for the feedback. I would love that. I highly prefer listening to Substack over reading and I bet yours would add to the humor you encapsulate. I saw your query for guest writers in May. This has been a crazy month for me but if you didn’t get enough responses, I would be interested if I could write something for the end of May and get you a draft end of April. If you already have your line up, I will catch you next time. I’m excited to read the series. 🤗

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Elizabeth Marro's avatar

I will keep the "hustle and flow" concept in my mind as I approach this week. I feel the need to push hard but also feel and equally strong fatigue or resistance. Still sorting through it. However, this piece also reminded me of the time I took my first CPR course as a reporter for the Gloucester Daily Times back in the late 70s.

The dummy did not light up but, since I would be writing about the experience, I was extra nervous about getting it right. One afternoon, after picking my son up from daycare, I grabbed the largest stuffed toy he owned. It was a large-ish teddy bear, about the size of a 6-12 month old baby. I practiced using my fingers to locate the right spot and then practiced counting, fully realizing that this would be nothing like working on an adult or even the CPR dummy. It just helped me review the steps.

After pumping away for a few minutes, I looked up and saw that my toddler had emptied his room of all stuffed animals and lined them up on the sofa. He grabbed a giraffe and said, "Do this one next!"

They all survived.

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Mary Hutto Fruchter's avatar

I love this story. Thanks for sharing it Betsy.

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Andrea Bass's avatar

I love this reminder to slow down and stop hustling. My perfectionism and I thank you.

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Mary Hutto Fruchter's avatar

Let’s see if I can also absorb some of my own message. ;)

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