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one of my fav ppl to listen talk about translation is stephen mitchell - he did the letters to a young poet version that's my fav, and the lil tao te ching that everyone has.

if ur a podcast person, here he is on a funny podcast talking about his translation style - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stephen-mitchell/id475878118?i=1000491415538

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As someone who travels often and lived abroad for over three years, intentions lost in translation got me into many a pickle.

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Oh please do share.... I was trying to think of some good ones about my travels and wasn’t coming up with a whole lot. I do remember being really confused at dinner once with my French host family as they kept referring to my hair and my hairbrush and I couldn’t figure out why that was dinner conversation but sure enough that’s what it was about- I was being informed that I was clogging the drains with my American hair

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This is striking -- all of these stories happened even though everyone shared a common language which suggests that we need more than words to truly communicate.

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Thanks Mary, I think a corollary to things being lost in translation is the concept that thise sending and receiving messages ought to anticipate that translations are never going to be perfect.

I apologize that this is a but long but I think it is an interesting coda to the story you mention about Atlantic Beach. A few years later, Dan and I were meeting in New York for some reason or other on a Saturday morning. My greyhound from upstate arrived on friday night so I crashed at a friend who went to NYU's dorm.

As neither of us had cell phones we coordinated where and when we would meet by calling Meghan to leave messages. She told me that Dan had left a message to meet him at "Grand Union in the park at 10 a.m." (for anyone who didnt grow up in New York, Grand Union was a small regional grocery store chain.

Understanding the limitations that translating imposed, I realized that the "union" was likely supposed to be Union Square Park since Dan knew I was already in the Village. And knowing Dan liked to meet at statues because they are easy to see even from a distance, I understood Meghan had likely mixed up "grand" with a statue to a person whose name began with "g." Indeed, even today the park's website has a poll for the "best meeting spot in Union Square Park." I vote wothout hesitation for the Gandhi statue.

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Thanks for sharing this story Jesse. I laughed out loud remembering it. I appreciate your good memory and Dan’s- I had to have him retell the family story before I committed it to paper- this is one reason why I write- so that I don’t forget - your story did what stories do...connect us to our past selves...to those we loved so and still very much carry in our hearts

It also just cracks me up thinking about the Grand Union in the park

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Thanks for bringing attention to gender bias in autism diagnosis. The article you linked to describes exactly what has happened to my sister. She's now in her 50s and is clearly autistic but never diagnosed. When I bring it up with her doctor and therapist I basically get shrugs. She's "too social" and can't therefore be autistic.

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Thanks Lynne for sharing your story in this space.

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Cross-purposes anyone? I love the transparency and vulnerability in this post. And I feel seen at the same time a sense of shame for having spoken too soon, been indiscrete, got it wrong, wrong, wrong. Sometimes, there's room for repair, and when there is space can open like never before. But when there isn't, what a challenge to not be dragging that shit around for years.

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A challenge indeed, Susan! Thanks for getting me thinking about cross purposes. It reminds me of Audre Lourde’s “There’s no Hierarchy of Oppression.”

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Excellent article Mary! I appreciate the way you shed light on subtle sexism woven into our society that we often overlook - both therapists’ comments about your role vs your husband’s, 51 year old Bill Murray kissing a 17 year old (gross...), misdiagnosing women and autism. Perhaps sexism won’t be so lost in translation if we keep pointing it out 👍

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Thanks Celeste for reading and noticing. I just told Dan the other day that some of the most sexiest things that have ever happened to me have happened in the last few weeks but then I wonder if they have always been happening - I just admitted above to having a terrible memory- maybe it’s the same old shit and I am becoming more attune especially as I write things down

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