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John E. Dobbs's avatar

I hope that there was some catharsis in taking us into your pain in such a vivid and beautiful way. I think everyone who reads this will feel along with you the loss and heartache and also the sweetness of memories that remain. How blessed was Cato to be loved so.

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Mary Hutto Fruchter's avatar

Thank you for reading John. What a lovely comment.

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Liz's avatar

So beautiful. Grief is so hard to describe and you did so in such a beautiful way.

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Mary Hutto Fruchter's avatar

Thanks for reading Liz and for the kind words.

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Marsha Stopa's avatar

Thank you, Mary. I buried my best friend, my 20-year-old cat Chango, in mid July after giving him palliative care for two months. He was with me for 17 years. I finally let my grief spill out yesterday at his grave in the woods. Yes, my heart broke open and then there was Helene. Perhaps I'll be able to write about him as honestly and eloquently as you have. Thank you for allowing us to share this love with you. 💚

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Mary Hutto Fruchter's avatar

I think you are on your way Marsha. What you write here is so lovely. I’m so so sorry for your loss.

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Marsha Stopa's avatar

Thank you. That's very kind of you. I am sorry for your family's loss. Sounds like Cato was well loved. 💚

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CathyAnn's avatar

So tender and so intimate. Thank you for the love that pours out of your story. I still miss my sweet Border Collie RoseBud. She was only four when she died of lymphoma. She tore my heart open too. I am so grateful to her for that and so much more. On February 14 we bring a new puppy home. I am so happy to be happy about a dog again. Feeling her love now, more than my grief has made this so. Cato sounds like she was one of those amazing beings who endured much to find a home with so much love. I wish you comfort in the certain knowing that Love Remains.

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Mary Hutto Fruchter's avatar

Thanks for reading CathyAnn and for these kind words, and for sharing your joy, a puppy on Valentine’s Day is so exciting.

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Suzanne Peters-Float's avatar

February 14th, you bring the new love of your life home. How apt. Xx

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Hilary's avatar

Thank you for sharing this. I'm not going to lie and say it didn't make me shed a few tears. I'm glad you were able to give Cato a good life. ❤️

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Mary Hutto Fruchter's avatar

Awww. I cried a bit rereading it. Thanks Hilary!

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Misti Little's avatar

I have felt this grief several times over a pet, the latest last October. My sympathies to you.

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Mary Hutto Fruchter's avatar

Thanks Misti. I’m sorry for your loss.

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Sonbol A.'s avatar

I'm so sorry that your sweet Cato has passed 💔 She was so loved and cared for until the very end, and that's all that any of us can really ask for in this life. 🐾🌈🧡

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Mary Hutto Fruchter's avatar

Thanks Sonbol! 🥰

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Tara's avatar

Tears for you reading this. How are the kids managing? I remember Jagger, but I don't think I ever got to meet Cato.

I love how you say Jagger and Cato broke you open but follow with the thought that grief makes us softer. I think of putty, which doesn't harden and thus can't really "break" but instead may expand or change shape to create more space. Perhaps, if another dog enters your life, they won't break you as much as stretch your heart even more. Sending love.

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Mary Hutto Fruchter's avatar

Thanks friend. We are okay. I like how you use the word stretch and I like the putty metaphor. I use broken in the way Parker Palmer speaks of brokenness, yes there is pain and grief and loss and change but there is also a crack or opening that allows for more love, life and joy to enter in. 🥰

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Jeanne Grant, Ph.D.'s avatar

My sincerest sympathies. The idea that grief softens us for accepting more love hit to the bone. I lost my girl in September and her absence is still present, but thinking that the grief serves such a purpose helps. (I fostered and adopted since, and the new love is already helping the healing.) You wrote beautifully about the love and loss.

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Mary Hutto Fruchter's avatar

Thank you so much for reading and for these lovely words.

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Priscilla Stuckey's avatar

Oh, Mary, I feel for you. It is so hard. And yet already, in the freshness of your tears, you’ve managed to pass her healing love along to us. ❤️🙏

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Mary Hutto Fruchter's avatar

Thank you Priscilla. I like the phrase healing love. That fits.

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Suzanne Peters-Float's avatar

Oh Mary, that is so profoundly moving and powerful. You are so right that animals are pure vessels of love, what an wonderful description. Sending much love in your grieving. Xx

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Mary Hutto Fruchter's avatar

Thank you Suzanne!

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Susan Cordell's avatar

What an amazing amount of love I felt running through your story. So beautiful.

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Mary Hutto Fruchter's avatar

Thank you Susan.

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Not That “Karen”'s avatar

What a loving tribute to Cato. It is clear she owned a very large piece of your heart, as dogs so often do. Every-time I lose one, I tell myself I can’t go through that grief again, but then I quickly realize that life is incomplete without the pure, unconditional love and companionship of a dog and all of the joy and laughter they bring. Unfortunately, the grief and sadness are very slow to fade and seem endless. I lost my beloved soul dog, Cooper a little over a year ago and I still find myself tearing up when I think about him and how much I still miss him. I have to believe that when we cross from this life to the next, all our beloved companions will be there to greet us:

Waiting at the Door

by Anonymous

I was just a pup when we first met,

I loved you from the start.

You picked me up and took me home,

And placed me in your heart.

Good times we had together,

We shared all life could throw.

But years passed all too quickly,

My time has come to go.

I know how much you miss me,

I know your heart is sore

I see the tears that fall

When I'm not waiting at the door.

You always did your best for me,

Your love was plain to see.

For even though it broke your heart,

You set my spirit free.

So please be brave without me,

One day we'll meet once more.

For when you're called to heaven,

I'll be waiting at the door.

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Mary Hutto Fruchter's avatar

Thanks for reading Karen. I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your light with us and this beautiful poem.

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Tera Ray's avatar

I'm so sorry for your loss Mary. Our pets like you wrote about so beautifully are such amazing companions because of the fullness of their presence and love. ♥️ Cato was loved well in return.

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Mary Hutto Fruchter's avatar

Thanks Tera. ♥️

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Leslie Dickinson's avatar

I waited a long time to read this journey and I still can’t get through it because it brings up convulsing pain about losing my animal guides: guides that teach me how to learn to love unconditionally and I fail when they never did. But thank you for sharing.

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Mary Hutto Fruchter's avatar

Holding you in the light Leslie. So sorry for your losses.

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Emilie Kovach's avatar

I am so sorry. 😢

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Mary Hutto Fruchter's avatar

Thank you Emilie! I miss her much!

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