23 Comments

Thank you for sharing this Kristy. And for sharing some of your story with us. You are brave and appreciated. Mary Oliver said she was saved by the beauty of the world. Here’s an interview that Krista Tippett did with her.

https://onbeing.org/programs/mary-oliver-i-got-saved-by-the-beauty-of-the-world/

Expand full comment

One of my favorite poems is The Journey by Mary Oliver. It reminds me of escaping from a dysfunctional childhood. Even though my family loved me, the neglect was real, the trauma was real, and I couldn't save them and save myself, too.

Mary Oliver

The Journey

One day you finally knew

what you had to do, and began,

though the voices around you

kept shouting

their bad advice --

though the whole house

began to tremble

and you felt the old tug

at your ankles.

"Mend my life!"

each voice cried.

But you didn't stop.

You knew what you had to do,

though the wind pried

with its stiff fingers

at the very foundations,

though their melancholy

was terrible.

It was already late

enough, and a wild night,

and the road full of fallen

branches and stones.

But little by little,

as you left their voice behind,

the stars began to burn

through the sheets of clouds,

and there was a new voice

which you slowly

recognized as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world,

determined to do

the only thing you could do --

determined to save

the only life that you could save.

Expand full comment

Kristy, this is my very favorite poem of Mary Oliver's as well. It resonates personally for me for so many reasons. I am presently reading It's Not You by Dr. Ramani Durvasula. I have watched her talks on YouTube for awhile now and I bought this book after partaking in an online session with Dr. David Kessler and Dr. Ramani. I am not finished with the book yet, but I have written one of her comments down and look at it often. She writes, "I now realize that if you spend enough time with sharp elbows, you will end up bleeding to death." I hope this helps.

Expand full comment

Wild Geese is a favorite poem of mine too. It's the one I always share with friends when they're going through tough times, and I think about it every time I see or hear geese. It's such a comfort. Another comfort to me is Robin Wall Kimmerer's Braiding Sweetgrass which I've made a tradition of rereading or listening to in audio form each Spring. I'm forever grateful for the staff book club that you organized that introduced me to it. Thank you for sharing your writing and reading recommendations with me.

Expand full comment

Also, I just love that she chose geese. I always think of her poem and that sense of belonging when I hear the wild geese, and if you go outside, you can’t but hear them which circles back to how the outdoors and poetry saved Oliver’s life, in her words

Expand full comment

Thank you Tera for participating in these spaces. I appreciate your voice so much. I think Kimmerer’s words also offer wisdom and comfort and a little bit of a challenge as to how we can be better stewards of this earth. My friend Jamie shared that book with me, another one of my wise friends, who knows me better than I know myself sometimes. It is one of my favorite books of all time, I think. Another reason I like it is because it showed me that, that kind of writing, the kind of writing I do as well, creative non-fiction, the telling of our own stories, is poignant and valid.

Expand full comment

I love Wild Geese as well. Of all of Mary Oliver's books that I have, Devotions if my favroite and I have my favorites poems marked in it.

Expand full comment

Thanks so much for sharing. Everything about this reminds me of Not so Much to Be Loved as to Love by Jonathan Richman, which not only featured my favorite album cover but also speaks to so much of what you’re getting at here, with Mateo and with Cato.

Expand full comment

Great album cover. Great song. Mateo and Cato were fast friends. Thanks for sharing this. I wish I could post a pic of the cover in this post, but I think once I post, I can't go back, or if I can, I haven't figured it out yet. But if folks are interested, you can google it and see the cover, and you can listen to song on you tube. (I recognize this might be obvious to many of you, but I already confessed to my internet skill level in my last post, so I'm not hiding now.)

Expand full comment

Thanks for sharing two wonderful poems. “Wild Geese” is one of my favorites. I also love this one by Ellen Bass, which has inspired me over and over again:

“The Thing Is”

to love life, to love it even

when you have no stomach for it

and everything you’ve held dear

crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,

your throat filled with the silt of it.

When grief sits with you, its tropical heat

thickening the air, heavy as water

more fit for gills than lungs;

when grief weights you down like your own flesh

only more of it, an obesity of grief,

you think, How can a body withstand this?

Then you hold life like a face

between your palms, a plain face,

no charming smile, no violet eyes,

and you say, yes, I will take you

I will love you, again.

Expand full comment

Thanks Andrea for joining the conversation and sharing a poem. I just listened to that poem yesterday. My friend Celeste posted it on her Substack Deep Thoughts with Celeste. She did a closet poetry reading and read three poems by candlelight and that was one of them. I am very grateful for my creative friends and the chance to share beautiful words. Another thing that Mary Oliver said in the interview was that a poem is like a song. We can kind of keep it in our pocket, carry it with us- it becomes a part of us. Padraig O’Tuama has a Substack called Poetry Unbound, based off his podcast of the same name and he also just came out with a book. Anyway, one of the latest threads was on the power of memorizing poems. This one by Ellen Bass is a good candidate. Thank you!

Expand full comment

Andrea, I absolutely love this poem! Thank you for sharing it and as I am not famlliar with Ellen Bass' work, thank you introducing me to a new poet. I am going to be looking into more of her work now!

Expand full comment

Beautiful. Mary Oliver & esp Wild Geese forever and ever and ever...💜

Expand full comment

Thanks Julia for joining the conversation. So I started listening to the interview I shared as I was walking Cato in the snow this morning, and I was reminded that she wrote Wild Geese as an exercise on technique. Here’s to creative writing teachers and exercises!

Expand full comment

Wow, that is quite a detail. Thanks for sharing!

Expand full comment

I love Wild Geese and I love The Journey. Your poem is beautiful, Mary. I am going to ponder your words at the end of your newsletter and respond this week. ❤️

Expand full comment

Thank you! I look forward to that! 🌸

Expand full comment

Cate added so much color to our community in Mayberry! :-)

Expand full comment

😂 She still brings us great joy. I miss our walks around the lake with her.

Expand full comment

The parallels, Mary, between Cato and Mateo! And yet, probably so hard for Mateo to recognize. Our rescue dog destroys things-- but not his own things-- when he feels left out or disconnected, just like his blonde counterpart. And we love them both so much anyway.

Expand full comment

Yes! Thank you for sharing in this space about what it means to love anyway. And for noticing those parallels and connections.

Expand full comment

Thank you for bringing this piece to my attention a few days ago, Mary. I personally am going through enormous life changes right now that were not of my choosing and were done to me by numerous people who did not have my best interests in their hearts. While this entire process has been extremely painful (that is honestly putting it mildly) I keep surviving through all of it. Has all of this taken an enormous toll on me? Yes. My ME/CFS that had been in glorious remission for 18 years, came back out in a blaze 5 years ago due to the severe stress I have been under.

I do not feel sorry for myself, rather I am taking steps in self-healing and learning to move past all of the circumstances of what has happened to me. These were people I trusted and I do not want any the actions of this numerous amount of people to turn me into a dark soul, an angry soul. nor a soul who doesn't trust anyone anymore. I was born a very uninhibted person, who trusted and loved easily. I had people who were older than me when I was a child who worried that I trusted too easily. LIfe has taught me more in the past decade of my life than ever before and I am once again wiser and stronger as a result of it. I share this as this is where I am in life right now; transition. It is part of my every day life.

Having shared this, I loved your questions you posed in this newsletter. I also loved the words you shared of Natalie Goldberg's. I have written them down. And I loved your poem about Cato and Mateo.

When I think of a friend who reminds me of who I am, I can't name just one friend. I love people. People to me are the most importnt things in life. I have had so many friends throughout my life and as we all know, we change in different ways with our different experiences. Our basic nature is always there, but I have so many friends from so many different times in my life and we always have one another's backs. From my childhood friends and the ones up until now, I am blessed in having these people in my life. Also, I am one of those "what you see, is what you get" people. I am who I am and that is how I live my life. It's nice livng life this way as you know that those whom you become friends with appreciate you for who you are.

As for my carry-on when traveling, I always have at least two spiritual books, a novel and a non-fiction book. The authors vary with each trip. But I have to have my books!

I love poetry, but one of my very favorite poems is Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone by W.H. Auden. I first heard this poem when I was watching the movie Four Weddings and a Funeral when it first came out. I immediately loved this poem and sought it out the day after watching the movie. It remains a favorite of mine to this day.

'Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone'

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,

Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,

Silence the pianos and with muffled drum

Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead

Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,

Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,

Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,

My working week and my Sunday rest,

My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;

I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;

Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;

Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;

For nothing now can ever come to any good.

W H Auden

Expand full comment

Mary! I just went to write Natalie Goldberg's book title down and saw that I have it on my to buy list! I thought her name sounded familiar and then when I saw I already had it in my Amazon cart, I thought to myself, I have to share this with Mary.

Expand full comment