Ha! I’ve gotten mad at a book before too. I think the worst part about getting stuck is that it slows everything down. It takes a lot longer to read a book you don’t really like.
The only times I’ll finish a book I’m not enjoying is if it’s for a class/book club or a thriller where I need to know the ending. Otherwise, I put down anything that’s not working for me. Sometimes I return to a book and I love it, while other times I never think about it again. Giving yourself permission to let go of something that’s not for you is a beautiful thing.
I read this author's first book and admired the creativity. The second book felt like an average mystery book. I kept hoping the creativity would pop up in the second book.
After reading two separate (awful) trilogies (yes, trilogies!) waiting for them to get good because they were recommended by my boyfriend at the time as favorite books ( two different boyfriends), I now have a formula for giving a book a chance before giving up on it, because there are so many books I want to read that they will never all fit in my lifetime but I want to be fair. I started implementing it in my late twenties, I’m now in my sixties. It still works. 100-(my current age)= # of pages I give the book to get good. Yes, that means I give it fewer pages every year; I have fewer years to fit in all I want to read (which keeps expanding)!
(The trilogies that never got good, and which I am STILL upset at the amount of time wasted reading, are the Gormenghast trilogy by Mervyn Peake [Titus Groan, Gormenghast, and Titus Alone] and the initial trilogy of The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant by Stephen R. Donaldson [Lord Foul’s Bane, The Illearth War, and The Powers That Preserve]. Monumentally depressing books. Glurgh. -- Plenty of other people like them and made them “classics” of the genre, they just aren’t for me.)
Another thing I've found: sometimes I'm in the wrong season of my life for a book. It's just a "we can't quite relate" thing - and it'll take years or even decades before we're a match.
(The reverse is also true: there are stories I loved twenty or thirty years ago that just don't fit my brain when I try them on today.)
So - yes, it should be easy for us to walk away from a book we're not enjoying. But sometimes we need reasons to circle back to some books and have another go at them - especially considering how the really, really great books in our lives always give us something precious and new, every time we re-read them. What if we gave up on a book that we would eventually love to read again and again?
Yes, I concur completely that sometimes it is not the right season, and I think like you said, that goes both ways. I read The Great Gatsby in high school, and I just wasn't ready for it, but when I read it in college, I really loved it, and then when I read it again as a teacher, I really, really loved it. I think the policy of letting go, but being willing to revisit makes sound sense. Thanks for being here and reading this. Hopefully, it wasn't too hard! ;)
I seriously hadn't considered this thought before! Honestly, the question of whether or not I like the book doesn't even enter the picture most times. It's just a strange sense of obligation I give myself to finish a book, because unfinished things don't feel good.
I’ve only quit two books: one fiction and one nonfiction. Another book, The Color of Law, had great information in it but was super dense reading, so I switched to the audio book half way through.
Currently I’m reading Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow, and loving it so far.
Talk about timing in reading your piece here! I just shared it with my husband as we are always having this debate. I used to be one of the people who had to finish a book, no matter how I felt about it. Sometime within the past few years, I decided to heed the advice of others who told me they never waste their time reading a book they aren't enjoying. I remember the night I let myself do this for the first time. My husband and I were reading in bed and I found myself actually getting mad because I REALLY disliked the book I was reading. I closed the book, told my hubby that I was done and that I wasn't wasting anymore time with it. I have been doing this ever since; our time is too valuable to waste it reading books we aren't enjoying. We avid readers always have an endless TBR list and we can be delving into these books instead of wasting time on those we don't like. But my husband can't do this, try as he might. Right now he is reading a book that he has become bored with and when he does go to read it, he often tells me he is trying to finish "this boring book that I can't wait to finish so I can get to my other books." I repeat myself when I tell him how liberating it was for me the first time I stopped reading a book I wasn't enjoying and that it just comes naturally to me now. He is trying...But he is still stuck. BTW? I also normally use the 20 page mark in deciding if I am going to continue reading a book. I can usually tell by then if I am into it or not. But some books have been the exception. Last winter I was about to throw the towel in with a book at page 51, but then things literally picked up with lightening speed and I couldn't put the book down. It was close to 500 pages, so I think the author spent a little too much time introducing her characters. And there is one book that many people don't apply this rule of thumb to...Lonesome Dove. Everyone who had read it before I did, told me that the first 100 pages are S-L-O-W, but to hang in there. And I am glad I did with this one. I tell others the same now. It's one of my favorite books and I loved the mini-series, but this book is an exception to the rule.
I often find myself wanting to read a book, and I keep checking it out from the library and having to return it again and again before the time is finally right (Homeland Elegies). I'm also guilty of having multiple books going at the same time (I think 've got 5 going right now 😬), but I'm pretty good at putting down a book I don't like. Sometimes I just wait until I'm in the right headspace for a book. I usually wait for summer time to tackle books that have heavier topics (The Body Keeps the Score). I just finished an excellent book by Dacher Keltner on Awe that was just what I needed to read at this stage of the school year. And I always love and appreciate your book recommendations Mary! I'm definitely adding many of the titles in this essay to my TRL.
Tera, I’m so glad you appreciate the book recs. Thanks for reading and commenting. I put Awe on my list. It’s probably a good idea for awe to be on the list in general. I am guilty of holding a library book too long. They no longer fine you for returning it late and that’s trouble with a capital T for folks like me.
I only read books I don't like if I've committed to reading for a bookclub or a friend who wants to discuss it. Otherwise, I give it 30-50 pages and I'm out. I haven't read Infinite Jest, but I love DFW's essay "Consider the Lobster" and think EVERYONE should read it. When I was younger, I would read a book to the end even if I hated it on page one. But life is too short. Choose another book, there are so many and always more coming!
Wise. I've heard really good things about "Consider the Lobster." I have no doubt that my reading of Infinite Jest was a user issue. I think it is probably a work of genius, but I also agree that if I'm not connecting to the genius at that particular moment, probably time to move on.
I had become a Kindle fan of late as it's brilliant for those nights when sleep evades me. I open use the try and sample feature so that I can gauge without commitment whether I'm going to enjoy a book. And yes, I know how we all feel about the big A but... Life!
I have also struggled with this if i buy a book or it’s gifted I always read it until the end On the other hand, if it’s from the library,I find it easier to put down I think it has to do with my relationship with money
I have no problem not reading a book I buy, which I think also says something about my relationship with money. I think you really hit on something here. My issue is much more with the relational attachment, if someone recommends or gifts me the book, I don't want to disappoint them or come across as ungrateful.
I have struggled with this too. It got worse over the pandemic when I started reading on my Kindle and using my library waiting list. When I wait months for a book, I have a hard time setting it aside if it’s not captivating me. I waited for it for so long! Also I’m remembering that I tried to start Louise Penny’s series three times and couldn’t get into it until I listened to the first one on audio. Then I was hooked.
I waited for so long! So true! Another good point that sometimes we try a book, and it's just not the right time for us. And also, that sometimes the audio version works better.
Ha! I’ve gotten mad at a book before too. I think the worst part about getting stuck is that it slows everything down. It takes a lot longer to read a book you don’t really like.
The only times I’ll finish a book I’m not enjoying is if it’s for a class/book club or a thriller where I need to know the ending. Otherwise, I put down anything that’s not working for me. Sometimes I return to a book and I love it, while other times I never think about it again. Giving yourself permission to let go of something that’s not for you is a beautiful thing.
It took me many, many years to give my self permission to give up on a book, but I still struggle to let go.
Tanya! It is so great to see you in this space. Thanks for reading. What else are you reading these days?
There are so many things I could have done with my time instead of finish that book! 🫠
Taking our own advice is so hard!
Seriously! 😂
I read this author's first book and admired the creativity. The second book felt like an average mystery book. I kept hoping the creativity would pop up in the second book.
After reading two separate (awful) trilogies (yes, trilogies!) waiting for them to get good because they were recommended by my boyfriend at the time as favorite books ( two different boyfriends), I now have a formula for giving a book a chance before giving up on it, because there are so many books I want to read that they will never all fit in my lifetime but I want to be fair. I started implementing it in my late twenties, I’m now in my sixties. It still works. 100-(my current age)= # of pages I give the book to get good. Yes, that means I give it fewer pages every year; I have fewer years to fit in all I want to read (which keeps expanding)!
(The trilogies that never got good, and which I am STILL upset at the amount of time wasted reading, are the Gormenghast trilogy by Mervyn Peake [Titus Groan, Gormenghast, and Titus Alone] and the initial trilogy of The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant by Stephen R. Donaldson [Lord Foul’s Bane, The Illearth War, and The Powers That Preserve]. Monumentally depressing books. Glurgh. -- Plenty of other people like them and made them “classics” of the genre, they just aren’t for me.)
Another thing I've found: sometimes I'm in the wrong season of my life for a book. It's just a "we can't quite relate" thing - and it'll take years or even decades before we're a match.
(The reverse is also true: there are stories I loved twenty or thirty years ago that just don't fit my brain when I try them on today.)
So - yes, it should be easy for us to walk away from a book we're not enjoying. But sometimes we need reasons to circle back to some books and have another go at them - especially considering how the really, really great books in our lives always give us something precious and new, every time we re-read them. What if we gave up on a book that we would eventually love to read again and again?
READING IS HARD. 😆
Yes, I concur completely that sometimes it is not the right season, and I think like you said, that goes both ways. I read The Great Gatsby in high school, and I just wasn't ready for it, but when I read it in college, I really loved it, and then when I read it again as a teacher, I really, really loved it. I think the policy of letting go, but being willing to revisit makes sound sense. Thanks for being here and reading this. Hopefully, it wasn't too hard! ;)
I seriously hadn't considered this thought before! Honestly, the question of whether or not I like the book doesn't even enter the picture most times. It's just a strange sense of obligation I give myself to finish a book, because unfinished things don't feel good.
I think it’s that way with a lot of things we feel obligated to do. Thanks so much for reading and sharing your thoughts and restacking in notes!
I really like this. Ans it is a great reminder to do what you love instead of doing something you feel you need to do.
Thanks for the new ideas on books to read.
Yes! Thanks for reading, and you are welcome. Remember, though, if you are not that into them, let them go. ;)
I’ve only quit two books: one fiction and one nonfiction. Another book, The Color of Law, had great information in it but was super dense reading, so I switched to the audio book half way through.
Currently I’m reading Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow, and loving it so far.
Hi Jen! Thanks for being here. Do you stick with books you don’t like? Are you glad you did?
Talk about timing in reading your piece here! I just shared it with my husband as we are always having this debate. I used to be one of the people who had to finish a book, no matter how I felt about it. Sometime within the past few years, I decided to heed the advice of others who told me they never waste their time reading a book they aren't enjoying. I remember the night I let myself do this for the first time. My husband and I were reading in bed and I found myself actually getting mad because I REALLY disliked the book I was reading. I closed the book, told my hubby that I was done and that I wasn't wasting anymore time with it. I have been doing this ever since; our time is too valuable to waste it reading books we aren't enjoying. We avid readers always have an endless TBR list and we can be delving into these books instead of wasting time on those we don't like. But my husband can't do this, try as he might. Right now he is reading a book that he has become bored with and when he does go to read it, he often tells me he is trying to finish "this boring book that I can't wait to finish so I can get to my other books." I repeat myself when I tell him how liberating it was for me the first time I stopped reading a book I wasn't enjoying and that it just comes naturally to me now. He is trying...But he is still stuck. BTW? I also normally use the 20 page mark in deciding if I am going to continue reading a book. I can usually tell by then if I am into it or not. But some books have been the exception. Last winter I was about to throw the towel in with a book at page 51, but then things literally picked up with lightening speed and I couldn't put the book down. It was close to 500 pages, so I think the author spent a little too much time introducing her characters. And there is one book that many people don't apply this rule of thumb to...Lonesome Dove. Everyone who had read it before I did, told me that the first 100 pages are S-L-O-W, but to hang in there. And I am glad I did with this one. I tell others the same now. It's one of my favorite books and I loved the mini-series, but this book is an exception to the rule.
I often find myself wanting to read a book, and I keep checking it out from the library and having to return it again and again before the time is finally right (Homeland Elegies). I'm also guilty of having multiple books going at the same time (I think 've got 5 going right now 😬), but I'm pretty good at putting down a book I don't like. Sometimes I just wait until I'm in the right headspace for a book. I usually wait for summer time to tackle books that have heavier topics (The Body Keeps the Score). I just finished an excellent book by Dacher Keltner on Awe that was just what I needed to read at this stage of the school year. And I always love and appreciate your book recommendations Mary! I'm definitely adding many of the titles in this essay to my TRL.
Tera, I’m so glad you appreciate the book recs. Thanks for reading and commenting. I put Awe on my list. It’s probably a good idea for awe to be on the list in general. I am guilty of holding a library book too long. They no longer fine you for returning it late and that’s trouble with a capital T for folks like me.
I only read books I don't like if I've committed to reading for a bookclub or a friend who wants to discuss it. Otherwise, I give it 30-50 pages and I'm out. I haven't read Infinite Jest, but I love DFW's essay "Consider the Lobster" and think EVERYONE should read it. When I was younger, I would read a book to the end even if I hated it on page one. But life is too short. Choose another book, there are so many and always more coming!
Wise. I've heard really good things about "Consider the Lobster." I have no doubt that my reading of Infinite Jest was a user issue. I think it is probably a work of genius, but I also agree that if I'm not connecting to the genius at that particular moment, probably time to move on.
I had become a Kindle fan of late as it's brilliant for those nights when sleep evades me. I open use the try and sample feature so that I can gauge without commitment whether I'm going to enjoy a book. And yes, I know how we all feel about the big A but... Life!
I have also struggled with this if i buy a book or it’s gifted I always read it until the end On the other hand, if it’s from the library,I find it easier to put down I think it has to do with my relationship with money
I have no problem not reading a book I buy, which I think also says something about my relationship with money. I think you really hit on something here. My issue is much more with the relational attachment, if someone recommends or gifts me the book, I don't want to disappoint them or come across as ungrateful.
Yes If a book is gifted and I don’t particularly like it I think I must be missing something and continue reading. hoping to get what I am missing
Yes! I know that feeling well.
I have struggled with this too. It got worse over the pandemic when I started reading on my Kindle and using my library waiting list. When I wait months for a book, I have a hard time setting it aside if it’s not captivating me. I waited for it for so long! Also I’m remembering that I tried to start Louise Penny’s series three times and couldn’t get into it until I listened to the first one on audio. Then I was hooked.
I waited for so long! So true! Another good point that sometimes we try a book, and it's just not the right time for us. And also, that sometimes the audio version works better.
I absolutely love your system. It is brilliant.